T Campbell's Blog
Writer of Penny and Aggie, Fans (also called Faans), Rip & Teri, Search Engine Funnies and A History of Webcomics. Experienced webcomics editor, currently seeking full-time work and working on strange and interesting new things...Sunday, January 15, 2006
Let Me Name My Worst Fear.
For naming it will give it less power over me.
My greatest fear is that I will wake up one gray morning, unaware that I've sold out the things I believe in. The rights of artists. Giving credit where credit is due. Making my own comics the best they can be. Making the comics medium the best I can make it. The idea that we're put on this Earth, whether by biology or by the Divine, to help people.
(Mr. Incredible, to his boss: "We're supposed to help people." If I had to replace all our religious texts with five words...)
I go along, too distracted and too multitasking to notice that I'm dead inside, until someone points out that I've done something terrible-- something that would have no justification if I still believed in my principles.
From there, the end is swift. News of the betrayal spreads, and my awkward self-defense seals the deal. Former associates cold-shoulder me, those who could have taken me or left me emerge as enemies, and soon I stand alone, without a friend in the world, not even myself.
An event in the last couple of days-- a quick decision I made which I thought would be helpful, while I was seriously multitasking-- was taken badly by one of my associates. His reaction brought me face-to-face with that fear. And clearly, it still gets to me.
Ultimately, it's the friendlessness that's the root of it. For I know I will make mistakes, I know I will do wrong things that seem right at the time. But I don't believe that your opinion of yourself makes you a good or bad person. Society is the best judge we have, on Earth at least.
And there is a more selfish, less high-minded reason. Writing is a lonely enough occupation. To be bereft of friends AND purpose...
(Although I never pushed this ultimate scenario in Fans, shadows of it are all over that series. I think Penny and Aggie, being about high school, confronts it more directly.)
If you are my friend, and you see me doing something that seems selfish, short-sighted, stupid or wrong...
Let me know, okay? And please, give me the benefit of the doubt.
My greatest fear is that I will wake up one gray morning, unaware that I've sold out the things I believe in. The rights of artists. Giving credit where credit is due. Making my own comics the best they can be. Making the comics medium the best I can make it. The idea that we're put on this Earth, whether by biology or by the Divine, to help people.
(Mr. Incredible, to his boss: "We're supposed to help people." If I had to replace all our religious texts with five words...)
I go along, too distracted and too multitasking to notice that I'm dead inside, until someone points out that I've done something terrible-- something that would have no justification if I still believed in my principles.
From there, the end is swift. News of the betrayal spreads, and my awkward self-defense seals the deal. Former associates cold-shoulder me, those who could have taken me or left me emerge as enemies, and soon I stand alone, without a friend in the world, not even myself.
An event in the last couple of days-- a quick decision I made which I thought would be helpful, while I was seriously multitasking-- was taken badly by one of my associates. His reaction brought me face-to-face with that fear. And clearly, it still gets to me.
Ultimately, it's the friendlessness that's the root of it. For I know I will make mistakes, I know I will do wrong things that seem right at the time. But I don't believe that your opinion of yourself makes you a good or bad person. Society is the best judge we have, on Earth at least.
And there is a more selfish, less high-minded reason. Writing is a lonely enough occupation. To be bereft of friends AND purpose...
(Although I never pushed this ultimate scenario in Fans, shadows of it are all over that series. I think Penny and Aggie, being about high school, confronts it more directly.)
If you are my friend, and you see me doing something that seems selfish, short-sighted, stupid or wrong...
Let me know, okay? And please, give me the benefit of the doubt.
Comments:
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You know, T, I don't think there's much of anything you could do that would get me to hate you. You're a decent person, a fantastic writer, and a talented individual.
Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. If someone holds that mistake over your head and insists on using it to color everything you've done or will do... then they're not much of a friend, are they?
In the end... it's best to do what you think is right. If you're wrong... oh well. Everyone makes mistakes. Only those who hide their own mistakes by pointing out everyone else's would hold you on those mistakes.
Rob H.
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Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. If someone holds that mistake over your head and insists on using it to color everything you've done or will do... then they're not much of a friend, are they?
In the end... it's best to do what you think is right. If you're wrong... oh well. Everyone makes mistakes. Only those who hide their own mistakes by pointing out everyone else's would hold you on those mistakes.
Rob H.
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